My Blog

part 2;

xjasper — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 10:08:43 +0000

having fever again. dont know some episode 2 of her bad mood quarrel again. just cuz i ask her where she’s been and with whom. sigh. really sucks having fever. everytime open my eyes just hope she will be there. surprising me showing how much she care and love me. but all i do is wakeup and still feel sad and sucky that im alone when im sick. she has lunch with friends/ stay home with mum. when i needed her so badly she still wanna quarrel. where am i..?

alone and unloved.

28 January 2011 ; sad

xjasper — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 05:59:03 +0000

I’m genuinely feeling sad. Again.

Im sick. I feel very uncomfortable. I remember i once said the best medicine is for people to care when you are sick. But i dont get the best medicine now.. My dear fhw is actually still angry at me and doesnt reply my msges when all i want is just to be cared and loved.

Been spending late nights with you, getting to sleep late and then waking up early the next morning for work. Im not regretting a single thing. Yet maybe its contributed to me falling sick. I cant fight it. But all i hope for is for you to just show care.

I remember when i couldnt rush down to you when you fell sick. I had to study for exams the next day. Yes i admit i was wrong for not being well prepared enough to take time off. But while studying i always talked to you and cared for you even when you sounded pissed off. Now im not even angry.. Just super sad. And you would run off to have a 1-on-1 date with chunkit. I mean, if you are meeting a group of friends. I would understand that its hard to rearrange the schedule of so many people, and you have to go ahead with it. But your boyfriend is sick. And its going out with another guy one to one. You wouldnt spend more time with your boyfriend to turnup on time for your date. Sigh. Thats what makes me sad.. and the worse part is you dont show care, but continue to be angry at your boyfriend. Your sick boyfriend can just lie on bed at home and wonder how happy you are going out with another guy. Its really sad that i dont get loved nor cared. Sick+sad makes pet shark super down..

Just an update: 38.3.. sigh.

178 ;

xjasper — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 06:56:58 +0000

Don’t try to explain your mind
I know what’s happening here
One minute it’s love
And suddenly it’s like a battle-field

One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down
My world’s nothing when you don’t
I’m not here without a shield
Can’t go back now

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
Why we gotta fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)
Why does love always feel like..

Can’t swallow our pride,
Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mhmm
If we can’t surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don’t wanna fall for it now
I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your…

We could pretend that we are friends tonight (oh-oh-oh)
And in the morning we’ll wake up and we’ll be alright
Cause baby we don’t have to fight
And I don’t want this love to feel like..

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield,
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor…

I never meant to start a war
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don’t even know what we’re fighting for (fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor

Why does love always feel like…
Why does love always feel like…
A battlefield, a battlefield..

I never meant
to start a war
Don’t even know
What we’re fighting for

I never meant
to start a war
Don’t even know
What we’re fighting for

It can be quite nice if you look at the positive-ness of this song. like really. haha love fhw

149

xjasper — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 13:31:25 +0000

its a gd day! jlhw! stupid takke so long to reply.

OH AND I SCORED A GOAL FROM NEAR HALFWAY LINE !

108

xjasper — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 15:03:19 +0000

famhuiwen. as i write this post, i sort of want you to see it. and not. so well, just leave it up to fate, destiny, affinity- whatever you call it. if you happen to read or not.

today was suppoedly a good day. until i read your blog… and then read the bad things that you have kept in yourself. but you stopped the last message so… idk what you are thinking. looking back at the messages, whatever you thought of today was also uncalled for and everyth. i miss you definitely lots cuz nth’s gonna change my love for you. but, if the relationship is too demanding alr, and then you mentioned you dont even want a relationship then im quite.. blur. you seem okay to me in rl, and it was like so happy when we wanted to start afresh but. :/ things isnt going the way it should be going. if you think it doesnt hurt me.. think again. all the late nightsssssssss. and now i just dont feel like doing anyth. i need you, but i cant be selfish. jlhw. 3. 27.24.

103

xjasper — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 07:10:12 +0000

hey huiwen

advice.

xjasper — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:23:05 +0000

First you have to determine who did the breaking up. If you are grieving over the broken romance, chances are that you are the one who was dumped (for lack of a kinder word)! As a teenager, you are going through the transition from childhood to adulthood, and your emotions are extra intense at this time. You need to let your emotions out; cry if you need to. This is where the tissues come in handy. Crying is a great stress reliever, because it unleashes all of your pent up emotions. There is nothing wrong with crying. If you are embarrassed, cry alone or with a trusted friend, family member or pet. Step 2While performing step one above (crying, that is), let yourself listen to some sad music. If you have any pictures or mementos from when you were dating your now ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, put them in one of the shoe boxes, which you will label “past” with the magic marker. It is very important that you do NOT put your ex on a pedestal. The amount of crying that you do does NOT mean that your past love was your true love and that this was the one and only. It only means that this person came along at a time in your life when you were just beginning to learn about relationships, and you opened your heart fully to this person without the fear of being hurt. An important thing to remember is that although it hurt, it means that you ARE capable of love, and that you WILL love again. By the way, although it FEELS like true love, what you may be feeling is infatuation. As you get older, you will learn the difference. By the way, put a used tissue into the old box. Put in a tissue that you cried on, NOT one that you blew your nose with. Step 3If you have trouble taking your ex off of a pedestal, you may want to try thinking of him or her in a different way. What I am about to suggest may seem seems to some as immature, but it is good for a laugh, and laughing is very therapeutic. Some things you can try: Picture your suave ex-boyfriend doing a silly dance in a dress and high heels or your ex-girlfriend cleaning up dog poop with her bare hands while wearing a jester hat or clown wig. While you are doing this, play some upbeat or even silly music. Don’t play sad music while doing this, or you may feel guilty. Picture yourself looking suave and confident, smiling and enjoying yourself WITHOUT your ex. There IS life after your ex. Step 4Now, look into the mirror. What do you see? If you were a member of the opposite sex, would you be attracted? Is there something about yourself that you want to change? Maybe, maybe not. Often, it is what is INSIDE of us that may need to be changed, and NOT what is on the outside. If you are often complimented on your looks, then it is probably a self-esteem issue, which has taken a beating after this break-up. If you see a few things about yourself that YOU would like to change, then do it. But don’t do anything drastic. You are a unique person, who is beautiful in your own way. If it is just a matter of personal grooming, then do what it takes to look and feel your best. If you have any bad health habits that may be contributing to you not looking your best, then take steps to correct them, not just for vanity, but for your health. If you can think of any mistakes you may have made in the relationship, such as clinging to your ex too much, whining, being sexually promiscuous, or not keeping dates, then you should resolve to try not to do that in your next relationship. Be aware, though, that you may not have done ANYTHING wrong, and it could have just been that the relationship has run its course. Your ex could be the one with the problem. Remember, he/she has broken up a relationship with a terrific person, YOU! Step 5While doing this, play some happy, upbeat music. Write down all of YOUR good points on a piece of paper. I’m sure that you can think of some. Find pictures of yourself where you are dressed up and looking good. If you can’t find any, put on your favorite outfit, fix up your hair and/or makeup and ask a friend or family member to take a picture of you. Smile in the picture. A smile is the BEST beauty enhancer I can think of. Now put that picture PLUS your list of good points in the other shoe box and label it “PRESENT AND FUTURE”. Put the “PAST” box into a closet in your room, but keep the “PRESENT AND FUTURE” box in a place that is easily accessible, but NOT where a sibling might find it.

Back.

xjasper — Sun, 17 May 2009 10:12:23 +0000

JLJJ

Been a long time since i posted here. Just needed a place to express my feelings and I guess this is it.

不应该靠近　才不会动心　
不应该怀疑　才不会伤心
不应该任性　才不会放弃　
我不该太爱你　Too young…
要怪只怪我们都太年轻
把爱情当作是个游戏机　Too young…
就算死一次还有复原力

Tomorrow SemiFinal match against ACJC at MJC field 5pm! Hopefully we can progress on to the final and clinch the champions.

Don’t be distracted.

xjasper — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 04:29:05 +0000

Let’s see. The thing I spend most time now on is… listening songs. Imagine taking bus+lrt+mrt rides of about 1hr 40mins every trip, 2 trips a day, sometime even 4 trips a day. Yea, you get the idea. Hmm. So, shall share two songs that are most of the time on repeat! Start with an oldie-turned-rock by MiLuBing, Guo Huo.

Heard the original version from i-forgot-where. Super old song alr, but still super nice.

Then a more ‘in’ song. At least its still less than a year?

What about now?

Super crap post. LOL. Okay, so yea got a 9 for O’s. And next destination is alr set. Schooldays gonna be tiring, reaching home around 930 at the earliest. Guess there’s a need to find time somehow. Anyway to those who did well, congratulations! Those who didn’t, don’t blame yourself or anyth, it’s not really fair to judge someone by just that one examination. Just tell yourself you must do better the next time around. A levels / Diploma, etc. Best of luck!

Think I also have nothing much to update now. Absolutely ( is that how u spell ) boring routine life. Anyway quite a number of AHS people are entering vj through sports. Like Jiajie, Yicheng, 2 netball girls whom i dont know what name. Yea quite cool.

So, Sunday was quite a bittersweet experience. Along with the zhonghua peeps, we played in the soccer tournament at.. BOON LAY, but was well worth it. Totally thrashed one team 6-0 and that was probably the highlight of the day ( for me at least ). Yea, charcoal bears are strong

Oh yea and chinese new year’s coming too. Good time to go visiting and get some $$ And I feel like eating seoul garden! No link but, that’s the way I am.

Okay, finally – updated

Archive.

xjasper — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 08:26:52 +0000

I’m not feeling quite good right now, and in fact- lousy.

I thought I played like sh*t today, and I think it’s obvious to many around. The problem is I do care about the opinions of others. Not in the mood right now. It’s match at SRJC tomorrow and I so wanna hide.

Lack of confidence, reassurance, what not.

6 and couting now.

The truth is, 27 is a special number to me.

and; good luck to all taking results on the twelve.